llustration by Frederico Righi
Publius Ovidius Naso 43 BC – c. 17 AD
It’s a mistake to think that only farmers working the fields,
and sailors, need to keep an eye on the season:
Seed can’t always be trusted to the furrow,
or a hollow ship to the wine-dark sea,
It’s not always safe to capture tender girls:
often the time itself makes for success.
If her birthday’s here, or the April Kalends,
that delight in joining months, Venus’s to Mars,
or if the Circus is decorated, not as before
with clay figurines but with the wealth of kings,
delay the thing: then winter’s harsh, the Pleiades are here,
then the tender Kid is merged with the ocean wave:
it’s best to hold off then: then he who trusts the deep,
can scarcely save the wreckage of his mangled boat.
It’s fine to start on that day of tears when the Allia
flowed with the blood poured from Roman wounds,
or when the Sabbath day returns, the holy day
of the Syrian Jews, less suitable for buying things.
Let your mistress’s birthday be one of great terror to you:
that’s a black day when anything has to be given.
However much you avoid it, she’ll still win: it’s
a woman’s skill, to strip wealth from an ardent lover.
A loose-robed pedlar comes to your lady: she likes to buy:
and explains his prices while you’re sitting there.
She’ll ask you to look, because you know what to look for:
then kiss you: then ask you to buy her something there.
She swears that she’ll be happy with it, for years,
but she needs it now, now the price is right.
If you say you haven’t the money in the house, she’ll ask
for a note of hand – and you’re sorry you learnt to write.
Why – she asks doesn’t she for money as if it’s her birthday,
just for the cake, and how often it is her birthday, if she’s in need?
Why – she weeps doesn’t she, mournfully, for a sham loss,
that imaginary gem that fell from her pierced ear?
They many times ask for gifts, they never give in return:
you lose, and you’ll get no thanks for your loss.
And ten mouths with as many tongues wouldn’t be enough
for me to describe the wicked tricks of whores.
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